The Healing Journey of A Broken Heart
Saving endangered species and my need to save myself
Tyke the African matron elephant was a circus elephant in Hawaii in the 1980s and 90s. When I first came across her tragic story I was obsessed with the passion to help and raise awareness for her and other endangered species, especially large endangered species.
Many years ago, one night in England, when I was still married but unaware I wasn’t happy, I came across her story when reading in bed. That moment was as if I was hit by lightning, shocked to my core. There was no turning back. I cried and cried. I couldn’t sleep that night and from then on, her story haunted me and followed me everywhere I went.
Tyke wanted to be free
Tyke’s story was more than a circus elephant that killed her trainer and harmed another before escaping then being gunned down. She was surrounded by many police forces; she suffered eighty-six bullet wounds. She was a wild African elephant, separated from her family and her natural habitat, captured and sold to live in a cage in Hawaii, forced to work and make money for the circus. For any wild animals to perform such acts, they would undergo extreme physical and mental abuse and torture during training. Her spirit was broken. She was beaten. Tools were specifically made for harming elephants during training. Marks were left on her skin - and elephants have thick, protective skins. All she wanted was to be free.
Tyke ignited something deep within, mysterious and enigmatic, beyond my understanding
I was enticed. During that time, I submerged myself deep into the animal world: how circus animals were trained; how they were captured or obtained. Everything about it was inhumane.
The dark side of such so-called ‘entertainment’ in circuses led me onwards to animal testing for cosmetics, modern medicine, food and products you would not think required animal testing.
I learned about trophy hunting; fur farming and how animals are skinned; how animals are treated before slaughter for human consumption; how fishing impacts the environment and kills other sea creatures.
The more I learned, the more obsessed I become. The information was extremely distressing. I saw images that would threaten anyone’s sanity. Yet I persevered until I was on the brink of mental collapse.
To protect myself, I stepped aside from this intense activity. My heart was still in it but I needed to find another way to help that would protect my mental health.
Similar to any abuse, the mental abuse is always the hardest to be seen, recognised, accepted and healed.
My Reiki training and sending distant healing
Years later, separated, in a different part of England, I trained in Reiki Level Two, which enabled healing across distances and even into the past or future. Tyke was the one I first reached out to. I sent her healings until she came to thank me.
Projections of my own feelings
More years passed. One day, during a healing session, I suddenly realised my obsession with saving the endangered species was all about my need to save myself from drowning. I projected this need onto the mistreated animals I identified with so deeply and wanted so much to help.
These projected actions were reflections of my feelings on my subconscious level. This was a revelation and it taught me to ask questions whenever I feel the “need” to do something. What is it that makes me react this way and what is the trigger?
Tyke’s story resonates with the stories of many women, feeling trapped, wounded, involved in soul-destroying relationships or jobs, hanging on to hope, desperately wanting more than life can offer, wishing for freedom. Tyke paid a terrible price for her freedom. We don’t have to.
~ Leigh-Lin Shao